free!

Yesterday I attended the CD release concert for one of the most talented and gifted women of whom I have the pleasure of being acquainted.

As if I didn't know MarQuita Danzy was anointed already, I was blown away when in the middle of yesterday's event, it dawned on me, "This isn't at all a concert. This is worship!"

Never mind the fact her voice is amazing (I've already pre-booked her for my wedding by the way), MarQuita has the ability to minister to me on a deeply personal level every time I hear her preach, speak, or sing. Yesterday's experience was no different.

The album is greatness; I had no doubt that it would be. But I'm torn between two songs as my favorite. First there's "Surprise! I'm Still Alive" where she boldly taunts the devil saying, "Surprise! I'm STILL alive!" Lord knows I've had my share of run ins with the devil where he has tried to throw me off course and cause me to abort my relationship with God. A few times he had me down, but Surprise! I'm still here!

Then there's the title track "Free." I'm not a dancer by any means (in church or in the club), but this song makes me wanna cut a two step (for the Lord of course).

Check out MarQuita's album when you get a chance. It won't disappoint.

asking for help

As Hurricane Sandy made her way through our area yesterday, I found myself home from work and catching up on some much needed reading. Around 2 this morning I stumbled upon this site (that I now love) called Clutch magazine.

One of yesterday's articles dealt with a subject I found very relevant to my relationship with God: Asking for help! I'm definitely a student from the school of "create your own opportunities" and "do it yourself if you want it done right." That's why portions of this article rang true to me.

In one excerpt, the writer says, "Whether I’m doing a crossword puzzle or weathering an emotional storm, I’ll handle it on my own, thankyouverymuch." I got a nice little chuckle about this until the writer then pointed out the reasons people choose not to ask for help. One of them being the shame and vulnerability that comes with admitting help is needed. Another being not wanting to appear weak. Suddenly the article wasn't so funny anymore.

As it went on to list 5 reasons it's important to ask for help, I found each one to be directly applicable to seeking God for help.

Personally, there are times when I struggle with the basic, every day living of this life as a Christian. As much as I am spiritual, I am still human and therefore prone to emotions, desires, and feelings that, quite frankly, run counter to having a right relationship with God. It's at these times where I've found myself saying,"Lord, I need help."

When I reached this point for the first time it was both scary and liberating. Scary because of the reason mentioned above. The vulnerability of it all had me on edge and I felt weak needing help for something so basic. But then I felt liberated when the Lord caused me to remember this is what He's there for! He's such a loving and caring God and He wants to help! I then got excited by the fact I could go to the Lord of Lords, the king of kings and simply say, "Help, please."

Below is the list of 5 reasons it's important to ask for help. I found each one to be a healthy reminder of why it's especially important to seek God in times of need.

1. Because it takes a strong person to admit you need help

2. Asking for help strengthens your relationships

3. No one can get through life on their own

4. There might be a simple solution for your complicated problem

5. If we can all be a little more open and honest, the world will be a better place.

Check out the full article here 

tuesday's testimony

My friends at church often laugh at me because I’m always a day late and a dollar short when it comes to Gospel music. Let’s just say by the time I get "put on" everyone else has moved on.

With that said, I have a new song that's in heavy rotation in my Gospel playlist: Vashawn Mitchell's My Worship is For Real. As I listened to the song for the first time, the words, "I've been through too much not to worship him," immediately began to resonate deep within me. Although "I've been through too much" sounds like something negative, it was the positive that nearly had me in tears smack in the middle of a work day.

See, since I got saved I've seen the Lord do some amazing things in my life. Here’s one:

Two years ago I left my employer because the environment was unbearably toxic. While I was out of work the Lord proved himself to be a provider by creating means for me to work as a freelance reporter. Not only was I blessed with income but I was blessed with tremendous exposure. My interviewees consisted of an ex NFL player,  Miss New Jersey, the mayor of Oklahoma City, and a real life character from the film the Social Network. The latter interview made it all the way to CNN.com!

As I sought full-time employment, the Lord favored me again. The week I received an offer for full-time work, my part-time employer not only counter offered with a full-time position, but with a much higher pay. I accepted the counter offer; but I should also mention that in that very same week I had to turn down a third position. Oh, and by the end of that same week, the gentleman whom I did freelance reporting for randomly decided to give me a raise! All this, at the height of an economic/employment crisis. If I didn't believe there was a God before then ...

Even this year I found myself in the position of having to turn down two more job opportunities. For one of them, I prayed to the Lord for guidance as to what move to make because there were indeed many pros to consider. If you're someone who doubts the power of prayer, take it from me IT WORKS. As I prayed, I heard the Lord speak to me clear as day and the answer was this: "if you trust me and stay where you are, I promise I will make you flourish."

Within just a few months, the opportunities, projects, and successes that have come my way have been nothing short of amazing. And not without notice -- aside from several thank you notes from the company president for one project, and congratulations from the senior veep for another, my team recently nominated me for the company’s highest award.

I say all of that to say this. First of all, I give all the praises to Jesus for this testimony. I know it’s no one but Him because I am not searching for these opportunities. Instead, they are finding me. Secondly, to sit back and watch the Lord work on my behalf and to create space for me to shine leaves me speechless and overwhelmingly grateful. So my Tuesday Testimony is that I’ve been through too much, I’ve seen too much, I’ve experienced too much NOT to worship the Lord. Truly, my worship is for real.

grace and mercy

Have you ever talked bad about someone behind their back and then felt guilty because they turned around and did something nice for you? I'm sure I'm not the only one. I've had this happen and I must say it sucks. You want to accept the nice thing (and most of the time you do) but you feel like a scumbag because of what you said about the person the day before.

In an earlier blog post I talked about my anger towards God for taking too long to send a particular blessing I've been waiting on. And how does He respond?

Yesterday I found out that after just a year and a half of being at my job, I've been nominated for a major award. This award comes with recognition by the company's senior leaders, admiration from your peers who nominate you...oh, and a pretty piece of paper that says "this is 'how much' we recognize and admire you." Needless to say, I'm honored and excited, but as I said it's hard not to feel like a scumbag.

But God (smh!)--with His endless love--quietly reminded me of something this morning: His grace and mercy will NEVER run out.

There's a song by Lonnie Hunter that I love. In the beginning of the song Lonnie defines grace and mercy as this: grace is when you get more than you deserve, mercy is when you don't get exactly what you do deserve. So in other words, by receiving this nomination the Lord just hit me with a double whammy of grace AND mercy.

I also love the song's chorus which says, "I don't deserve it, so unworthy, but you bless me anyway." I don't know how or why He does it, but I know it's appropriate to say thanks.

THANK YOU JESUS

Signed,
Scumbag

mustard seed faith

When I started this blog and said that I would share the joys and struggles of living saved, I don't think I realized how difficult the latter would be. But then again it shouldn't come as much of a shock. I'm a very private person (almost to the point of schizophrenia) so when it comes to letting others in on my "issues," two words: 

I Don't.

Certainly I'm not about to give the specifics of my current struggle, however the short of it is there's something I've been wanting for a while. With each passing day, my emotions about it range from "the Lord will make a way" to "Lord, I'm ready when you are" to "OK Lord, are you sure you're hearing me?"

Last week and this weekend in particular can be filed under "A-F" for "Angry and Frustrated." I'm angry with God for not doing what I told asked Him to do. And I'm frustrated because I don't see how in God's name (no pun intended) it's even possible that it will happen. (don't worry, I've repented for each of these thoughts)

As He often does when I'm at my lowest, the Lord reminded me of a scripture. Luke 17:6 speaks of having faith as a grain of mustard seed. Where I am in my relationship with God right now, it dawned on me that I'm surviving on mustard seed faith. Barely holding on to Jesus as I endure a painful lesson of what it truly means to trust Him; nevertheless, clinging to my salvation and His promises. 

And with that I'm encouraged; even when my faith is at it's lowest, the Lord honors it and lets me know that He is with me.

the saved life

When I talk to people about living a life for Christ, the term "saved" becomes inevitable. A common stereotype is that being saved lacks excitement and pleasure. Yes, it requires eliminating things that clearly aren't pleasing to God, but there's so much more to gain from having a relationship with Him.

Besides the future tense of being saved when the rapture occurs, I like to think of it in the present tense. For me, one of the greatest benefits is being rescued from the worries of this present time.

One of my favorite passages of scripture is found in Matthew Chapter 6:
v. 31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
v. 32 (For all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
v. 33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Verse 33 is often quoted in church and has helped me tremendously on this journey. I can say with confidence that seeking God before all else leads to a life in which all my needs are met. But He also gives "extra" which I like to call the perks. To name a few: peace of mind, joy in being just who He made me to be, and casting all my cares, doubts, and fears upon Him that he may direct my paths.

As far as the tangible perks, by putting Him first I've seen His power and his favor work mightily on my behalf; in my career, my finances, and other situations that I know were only made possible because of the Lord Jesus Christ.

So being saved is not just about what’s to come. There are immediate benefits to tap into right here, right now.

come back to church!

Public Service Announcement!

Did you know this Sunday is National Back to Church Sunday? That's right! Each year, churches across the country dedicate a special day to invite friends, family, loved ones, co-workers, enemies, etc. etc. to come BACK TO CHURCH. If you haven't been to church in a while, this Sunday is a perfect opportunity.

[enter shameless plug here]
Christ Haven Church Ministries is one of the participating churches. Join us this Sunday for our 8AM or 11:30 worship service.

Dare to be Different

Does anyone remember playing truth or dare when they were young? If you were like me, you always opted for "truth" because "dare" was sure to be something outlandish like run outside in the nude, or ring the doorbell of the mean old lady down the block.   

One reason I chose to do this blog was because people often view living holy as outlandish and out of the norm. This, from a generation that supposedly celebrates uniqueness and individuality yet they can’t seem to fathom a young person choosing to spend the majority of her free time in church.

So I dare to be different. By definition, dare means the necessary courage or boldness for something, to meet defiantly, or to face courageously. Living a life for Jesus definitely takes courage, but it also takes a high degree of boldness. This is an area where I struggle big time. Inside the church, I’m very reserved even when I feel the Holy Spirit tugging at me to give God more radical praise and worship that I know He deserves. Outside the church, I shy away from conversations about my faith. I also choose not to force my beliefs on others because I feel that by doing so, it can alienate people instead of draw them in.

What it really boils down to is my own self-consciousness and anxiety issues. Despite these things, I recognize that it’s my responsibility to tell others about the urgency of salvation. I fully believe in the rapture, heaven, and hell; the latter of which I don’t want to see anyone end up.

So, I need to do better. Lord, help me to take my eyes off of self to help others see you. Help me to get over myself and dare to be different. In Jesus name I pray.

morning inspiration from "Image of Faith"

I was blessed by this post from my friend's blog Image of Faith.
Happy Friday!

I Pledge Allegiance

This time four years ago, I—like many other young people—was excited to participate in the presidential election of a lifetime. Barack Obama was all set to become the first Black President of the United States and I was going to be a part of this turning point in our country’s history. The journalist/news junkie in me was spinning out of control with anticipation to see the possibility become reality.

After he was elected, my excitement quickly shifted to the inauguration. It was imperative that I see this Black man get sworn into office with my own eyes. So I packed up my little car and headed to D.C. Was lucky enough to stay in an author friend’s apartment on Capitol Hill and experience history firsthand.

This year, I’m ashamed to say, I’m not nearly as excited. The Democratic National Convention is happening this week and, unlike last election, I’m surfing the channels to see what else is on. It’s not that the interest isn’t there; I honestly think I’m just hungover from 2008. To make matters worse, the President erased any trace of excitement when he justified his support of gay marriage by lumping it together with the teachings of Jesus Christ.

An excerpt from the President’s interview earlier this year: “when we think about our faith, the thing at root that we think about is, not only Christ sacrificing himself on our behalf, but it’s also the Golden Rule, you know, treat others the way you would want to be treated.”

When the POTUS chose to express his support under the guise of Jesus Christ teaching us to treat others the right way, this is where he lost me. My issue is not the support of gay marriage, it’s that supporting gay marriage has been positioned in a way that says “because Jesus would want us to.”

As a believer of Jesus Christ, this isn’t something I’m willing to advocate. I’ll continue to support President Obama in spirit, but my allegiance is to the Holy Spirit.

M.I.A at M.I.A

II Corinthians 5:17-18

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation

It's Labor Day weekend and the City of Brotherly Love is doing it big with the first of its kind Made in America festival. Two packed days, filled with live music ranging from rock and roll to neo soul.

Before I was saved, you could say concerts were "my thing”. I love seeing entertainers bring their music to life on stage and to see their talents exhibited before my very eyes. Despite the Made in America festival featuring two of my favorite artists of all time, I am Missing in Action at this weekend's event. The reason is simple; the music doesn't coincide with my lifestyle.

People often ask me questions like: "You don’t listen to Rap anymore?" or "All you listen to is Gospel now?" While these questions irk me to the very core of my being, I acknowledge that they are fair questions nevertheless.

Now, I didn’t just wake up one day and say, “Welp! I’m saved now, no more Hip Hop.” That would be plain bizarre. But because of my salvation and the Holy Spirit (-aka- the Holy Ghost) within me, I find myself physically unable to listen to secular music without feeling grieved in my spirit. This is one of those things that’s hard to explain as a believer of Jesus Christ. People think it’s weird or foolishness. I view it as further validation that Jesus is real and that my relationship with Him is real. If not, how else can one explain such a dramatic change of heart?

Until someone can answer that question, I'm happy listening to “just gospel”.

Here are some artists that are in heavy rotation in my iPod. By listening to Youthful Praise, Tasha Cobbs, Jason Nelson, and Kevin Terry, I’m able to feed my soul instead of my temptations and a mindset that runs counter to my relationship with God.

Time for church!! Gotta run :-)

Who Would've Thought...?

Welcome to my blog!

This blog—much like my life—is dedicated to Jesus Christ. When I think of my relationship with Him, I’m reminded of the Donnie McClurkin song, “Who Would’ve Thought.” One portion of the lyrics says, “Heard folks talk about the things you’ve done, and I would just laugh at what they say.” Then the chorus simply asks, “Who would’ve thought I’d get to know you this way?”

These lyrics describe me to a tee. You couldn’t have told me in a million years that I would have the bond that I now have with Him. Then I smile to myself when I realize He had other plans for me.

So what’s the purpose of this blog you ask? Glad you asked J !

Since my born again experience, it has become evident that this way of living (holy living) is not popular. Again I ask, "Who would've thought?" Perhaps a more accurate way of describing it, though, is misunderstood. With that being said, I hope this blog will first and foremost lead others (particularly the younger crowd) to Jesus Christ. By no means do I view this as a “ministry” or an evangelistic device to help others “come to the light”.

Instead, I’ll use the blog to share my ongoing experiences (and struggles) of being young and saved. I’ll also address some of the misunderstandings and annoying misperceptions about living "the saved life". The ultimate goal is to help others see that living for Jesus is fulfilling, peaceful, and rewarding.

Until next time, here’s the Donnie McClurkin song I mentioned. Be blessed!!